As week three of the spring semester comes to a close...
…a couple of quotes I’ve collected in my lecture notes. (Wow, that totally rhymes!)
"What views of Maya social organization and social life do we have? Fortunately we’ve got a lot. Unfortunately, they’re not the kind of things that make sexy documentaries.” -Dr. Cameron Wesson, during Prehistoric Archeology
"I don’t care about your childhood, just use the infinitive!" -Frau Hoeck, during an exercise to answer the question “As a child, I had fun by…”
"It’s like GoogleEarth… The idea that we can take any point on the globe and focus in on it, except Area 51, right? Which used to be blacked out; you couldn’t see it ‘cause obviously that’s where they’re flying the alien spacecraft. Um… Aw, now you’ll think I’m obbsessed with aliens. Shouldn’t have said that." -Dr. Cameron Wesson, on archaeological methods of noninvasive/remote sensing
Cameron Wesson is so obsessed with aliens. I don’t even care what he says. Also, he won tickets to the Super Bowl, even though he doesn’t “even really know what teams are playing. I mean, the Super Bowl, that’s football, right? I just figure I should be pumped, because I’m going to the Super Bowl!!!” So we don’t have class today or Monday, so instead I get to listen to him via Podcast. Which I am actually absurdly excited about. Gotta go take some notes!
I probably should be, I don’t know, studying for German (which starts in less than 35 minutes), but whatever. In other news, Vermont is Vermont. We have snow and cold. Clearly, we are the winners. Also, apparently we are set to make the top 10 list of snowiest winters ever (we’re at 90 inches now, and we need 100… I’m sure we can come up with another 10 inches in like the next two days). So yeah, I thought it was important to update everyone on my super rad life as opposed to doing academic stuff. You know, because I’m in college or whatever.
Yesterday out of boredom, I changed my relationship status from single to nothing. Like where it usually says relationship status, there is nothing there. But, Facebook decided to send out a little status on me saying “Alison is no longer listed as single.”
By Facebook doing this, my phone almost died.
Not even 5 minutes after that was sent out, I got 3 text messages asking who I was dating. 10 minutes after that went out, I had 20 text messages asking who I was dating.
At first I thought it was funny, then it just got annoying. So, I’m not answering any one’s texts or messages over Facebook. I’m not dating anyone and I will tell certain people when I actually am dating someone.
I swear to God, Facebook is creating stalkers.
I love you. I apologize for being one of those people. But, to be fair, I completely checked your info, and when it said that you were not listed as anything, I just figured that you had put yourself as nothing. BUT, being the spaz I am, I had to text and confirm. Love you!
I had a dream last night. It was one of the weirdest dreams I ever had.
I was taking a self-defense course, with Danny DeVito as the instructor. He was really tan, shirtless, and had long, billowing curls of grayish hair. And a little moustache.
We were practicing a “real-life” situation in some sketchy dark alley, and he stands in front of me, (the dude’s like, 4 feet high) crouches down a little, and screams, “COME ON, KICK ME! KICK ME IN THE FACE!” but I really didn’t want to kick him in the face, as I was barefoot, and it would hurt me. Plus, I felt kinda weird about kicking Danny DeVito in the face in general. So I finally muster up some courage and kick him in the chest, which hardly did anything. Then I began kicking him up under the chin, and it creeped me out a whole bunch because I thought that my big toe was going to go through his mouth or something. It was just weird. Oh, and meanwhile, some hobo was sitting behind us and smoking weed while making strange comments on our mock-fight.
This made me cry because it was so funny. Don’t even get me started on a weird dreams. Last night, I totally went to Washington DC to party, quite literally, with President Wayne. President Bruce Wayne. Yes, Bruce Wayne was our president. Happily, this is not the first dream I’ve had where I get to go to hot parties with Bruce Wayne. SO yeah. Dreams are great.
“Don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.”—Stephen Colbert, Knox College Commencement ADdress, 2006
I am going to attempt walking on my treadmill while studying for my AP German midterm and watching a rerun of The Real World:Brooklyn.
Wish me luck.
Oddly enough, I do the same thing. Like, a lot. For whatever reason, I really get a kick out of doing like 4 things, at least 3 of them productive, at the same. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve done stuff like that in high school, but to give a recent example:
This past Tuesday, if you were lucky enough to be in Burlington, Vermont and venture into the Fitness Center, you would have seen me
on the elliptical
grooving to my awesome new playlist on my iPod
watching AC360 on CNN (<3)
sporting a People magazine (the one with Brad Pitt and his skeevy rapist ‘stache)
studying German flash-cards
Which, actually, is a really great time in my book.
You see, never in my eighteen winters, springs, summers, and autumns on this earth have I had the desire to live a “normal” life. In fact, on some occasions I would deliberately stray off the path that my peers tread. (I called this apparent affliction “defiance.” My parents called it “stubbornness.”) By stepping away from the assembly line of adolescence, I found I could function much easier without the shackles of society.
I have watched my peers with fascination, and have questioned their motives. In a sense, I would pity them, thinking, Is this really what they want out of life? Perhaps they will look back on this part of their life many years from now, and question their past motives. Perhaps they will wonder: Why did I do that to myself? Did it really matter—did it determine who I am today?
I find that people never take a moment to reflect, to look ahead, and wonder if their efforts are really worthwhile. Many people, mainly my peers whom I’ve observed over the years, really do not have that ability. I know I have that ability. I have spent much of my life simply looking; evaluating. I am an observer, an instigator, a constant learner, a thinker. These combined traits make me the type of person who questions the monotony of everyday life, who steps back from the persistent humdrum that is modern society and wonders if the idea I put my energy into actually has any real substance. In other words: I do not simply “do things” because it is what is expected of me by society, I do them because of my own free will, as a free human being. I challenge the assumptions others make about the world we were born into. I feel I can bring that natural ability to the world of higher education, and hopefully someday incorporate my opinions into what society calls “earning a living.”
I know that I want to go to college in order to gain access to higher knowledge, not just because it is expected of me, or as the key to a better chance of having a high-paying job, because I do not want a job—I want a career. I know that whatever I decide to become, wherever life takes me, I will be learning for the rest of my days.
So awesome! I remember the whole college-essay days. Now, when I say days, I mean three specific days, or, rather, the day before each of my three deadlines. I was the kid who definitely started my college essay 18 hours before the deadline, didn’t proofread, and then submitted it with 24 minutes to spare. Not recommended for those who enjoy sanity, but totally recommended for those who enjoy panic attacks. Anyways! I think you essay is pretty awesome. It really captures that gist of how you go through life, gives the reader a good sense of your mentality and your individualism, and it reeks of confidence. Now, reek usually connotes a bad smell, but I’m talking about the way George Harrison reeked after shooting Raiders of the Lost Ark in Hawaii. Which is a most welcomed reek, I feel. But really, wonderful job, I’m sure you’ll get into Harvard, and it’ll be fantastic!! Oh, and when I say Harvard, I mean an actual college that isn’t a tool.
Female audience member:Mr. Colbert, have you been fucking Matt Damon?
Stephen Colbert:Why? Did his dick taste like me?
sara:where the fuck did this come from D: ?
mer:well, it came from stephen colbert's mouth. specifically before recording that night's show. but my actual source is from celebritywit.com, which I found through overheardinnewyork.com. I thought it was good, because I love the whole f***ing Matt Damon thing a lot. For reference, see:
I just needed to post some of my favorite teacher quotes of the day. You know, because instead of taking real notes on the subject, I'll take notes on the hilarious things they say. Because I am not a creeper.
"Marx really wanted people to take it to the streets!” -Tom Macias*, Sociology
"On Tuesday we have no class. Which is good, because I will be celebrating with all my friends the fact that we will not have to associate the United States with instability and Texas." -Frau Theresia Hoeck**, German
"Doctors used to just flay you open and poke around for your failing organs. That doesn’t make for a great bikini body this spring break in Cancun."
"What is this? *gestures at skeletal remains* Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?"
[concerning the remains] “Who put her in here? Some ancient Mayan serial killer who tied her up and skinned her humps? Buffalo Bill?” -Dr. Cameron Wesson***, Prehistoric Archaeology
*Has a mild, yet spicy Spanish accent **Has a strong German-Austrian accent *** Has a soothing, amazing Alabaman accent