Okay, I’m sorry, I should be doing work, but I’m reading my archaeology book, and I’m flipping through the different sections, looking at the titles. They go “Why were the Neandertals replaced?”, “Could Neandertals talk?”, and then, “Did Neandertals worship cave bears?”
Okay, so picture this, I’m sitting on the third floor of Bailey-Howe Library, which is basically “make a noise and you will be stoned to death”, and I read this thing about cave bears, and I let out the most obnoxious snort of laughter. I mean, seriously, cave bears? I know that’s legit, but did that have to be the title? Couldn’t they have been kinder to my ridiculous sense of humor and just named it “Did the neandertals have religious beliefs?” Nope, it had to be cave bears. Especially since I’m still giddy about anything Colbert Report/Daily Show related. Anyways, now I’m just chilling, reading about cave bears.
was amazing. OMG. He was so good, and so funny, and he’s so my role model, and I am so in love. He said amazing, funny things, and I CAN’T wait for a recording to make it to YouTube so you guys can see it because it was so ridiculously amazing. I can’t even try to tell you some of the things he said, because I would probably ruin the awesomeness by not repeating them verbatim. Anyways, Jon Stewart. Apparently, spent Friday in Burlington and was just hanging around downtown buying newspapers and talking to homeless people. And his girl Emma, who’s my program director for my housing thing next year, got to take a picture with him. DYING!!!!!! And he asked us, “Could your town be any prettier?” and we were all proud. And he made fun of everyone and no one was safe and we laughed and it was fantastic. Oh, it was so fantastic. So, so fantastic.
FMLs aren't even that fun when they happen to you.
Last night, I was sending out emails to a ka-trillion people, approximately. In one email, I had to attach a rehearsal report for the rehearsal I had last night, and in the other, I had to attach a paper I had written for sociology. Usually, just to be clear and efficient, I also include a little note in the email, something along the lines of “I’ve attached my _________ paper” or “Attached is the rehearsal report for _______.” Every once in a while, when I’m feeling remarkably happy-go-lucky, I’ll throw in a cute little “Hope everyone’s enjoying the whether today” or “Have a happy St. Patrick’s day!” (granted it was St. Patrick’s day). Well, last night, I was feeling particularly happy with my life, so in my theatre email, I threw in “I hope everyone is mad psyched to see the extremely dashing and very talented Jon Stewart on Saturday!” and hit send. This comment would have been totally acceptable if were sent to the Theatre Department staff. However, it turns out, I sent that comment to my Sociology professor, who, despite being a very cool semi-young hip man, is actually not very happy with me at this point in time (I may or may not have studied for his Midterm, and I may or may not have a really bad grade in his class right now). So, like 5 minutes later, I get a reply from him, saying “I received your paper. Also, I don’t know exactly know who you are referring to with “everyone”, but I think you should be less concerned with how dashing one Mr. Stewart may be and concentrate a little more on studying for your upcoming exam.” FML? FML.
There was a banquet for me…at the mall. With my teachers ‘n such seated at little round tables everywhere, and a giant powerpoint screen on a wall, displaying pictures of myself. If this wasn’t creepy enough, my Advisor Mr. Dvarskas, who was dressed in a tight red jogging suit, kept standing in front of the screen and giggling like a weirdo.
My friend Alison comes up to me and goes, “Let’s go get Subway!” and we get into her car, which was a huge black truck. We start driving down the main street in our town, and it starts raining. And I mean raining, so the road in front of us was all foggy and misty and slippery, and it became hard to see. This apparently doesn’t stop Alison from driving like a goddamn maniac, swerving around cars and buses, driving up onto the sidewalk, and basically scaring the shit out of me. I yell, “Whoa, Alison, slow down!” but she was like “WE’RE GONNA BE LATE!” and she decides to take a “shortcut” through a cemetary. We’re still driving way too fast, and swerving around corners in the little cemetary road, when up ahead, I see a giant box of Nerds blocking the road. I expected her to stop, but she just leaned forward and went WOOOOO! as our car flew up into the air (like going over a ramp) and over the box. In slow motion. With me screaming “HOLY FUCK, ALISON!”
So the car lands, and we went up this steep hill, finally stopped, and got out of the car. It has stopped raining by then, and I notice that we started walking up some random marble steps. I look up and see Greek-style columns everywhere, and ahead of us is some dude dressed in a toga. He was standing in a small Greek ampitheater, which had some ancient Greek dudes sitting around. So toga-man walks up to us, and Alison whips out a Subway bag and yells, “I brought Subway!” and everyone goes, “FINALLY!” and I was just really confused.
-Alison got asked to Prom! Cute! -I have a 5 page zany research paper for Prehistoric Archaeology due on Monday, and I really really really want to put it off until I get back, which would be about 10 pm on Sunday. -I just found out my final exam schedule… Good news is I only have 2 finals. Not-sure-how-I-feel-about-it news, they fall 1 week apart, which means I have to stay until the very last day of school for me… I guess I’ll have to time to study and chill before the second one, but I was hoping to be able to leave early. Oh well, I figure that crap out. -I only have 3 days of Spring Break left… I need to do fun things with fun people!!